I asked for a vanilla waffle cone. “It’s 3.99, is that okay?” (as if I wouldn’t be willing to pay that.) I said “of course.” And pulled out a crisp hundred dollar bill. I made confident eye contact, as she suppressed her shock. She marker-ed it, suspiciously. But it was real. And we both knew it. Why did handing that bill over make me feel better about myself for a brief 2 minutes? She would forget about it in an hour. I’d think about it till i call the day over. And spit my false sense of self worth down the drain with my toothpaste. (whitening)