Q: The pilot of ‘Secret Girlfriend’ is largely about a guy’s attempt to deal with his crazy, jealous, stalking ex. In brief—what’s the craziest thing an ex has ever done to you?
A: An ex once sent me a baby food jar full of his tears from crying over me. I thought it was sweet so I gave him one last BJ.
Q: And if you’d care to share—what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done to an ex?
A: I OD’ed on Tylenol just to get an ex to come to the hospital instead of go on a date. He thought it was sweet so he let me give him one last BJ.
Q: Your character attempts to seduce the protagonist of ‘Secret Girlfriend,’ but is unsuccessful (mainly since he takes too long at the liquor store and you get sick of waiting around.) For you personally: what’s one fail-safe seduction technique?
A: I’d say the best fail safe seduction technique is to tell him you’re on the rag…but that hasn’t stopped you before….. (and then bite your lip).
Hoping these new Amazon purchases will explain a lot!
I love CAPELLA’s choice of this horrible highlighted lady to represent a student as their advertisement.
the LOVE COUPON sketch i wrote.
Because sometimes, us ladies regret the things we offer.
This chicken nugget is too hot.
This one is too cold.
This microwave is broken.
(sound of snaps)
Joanna and I had plans to drink Trader Joe wine and catch up. Instead, we found this injured baby possum on her driveway. Practically dead. We looked up online how to help and wrapped him in a lil flannel and fed him water from a spoon. She was slowly showing signs of hope. Joanna called the Animal Rescue hotline. The message said “Press 1 if you found a Marine animal. Press 2 for Bat. Press 3 for Deer. Press 4 for Mountain Lion. Press 5 for Possum….” so Joanna pressed 5 and we were referred to a Certified Volenteer Possum Aide. We called her at 11:24pm. She lived near La Canada. She told us to feed him strawberry yogurt and keep him warm and bring him to her asap. We got in my VW Bug and put the heat up real high and made the 40 minute drive. Meanwhile she was coming back to a more energetic state. I fell in love. I named her Spoon.
MommaMeA1: you could look into teaching a few classes at the gym
me: i need to be certified for that
MommaMeA1: if you get certified then you could teach night classes. You need to work nights.
MommaMeA1: so think about every place that is open at night and something you could do and something in your area so it doesnt take alot of time for driving.you could always work at one of those pot Rx places too—serving the patients? what about working at a babies r us place at the photography place and take pics of kiddies? sears/walmart/babies r us all have portrait studios
me: that would NOT be a nighttime job.
MommaMeA1:what about somehting you can do under the table? teach something.. what about one on one training with a few clients. big money. fast cash. little investment of your time
me: i what can i possibly train them to do i am skill-less! (Well, at least not a teacher level in anything.)
MommaMeA1: ya know— this might sound weird, but i often thought of helping transvestities or transgender men turning into women to help them become more feminie they really need help in fashion, makeup and walking the right way, manenrisms, stuff like that. your FIT training is perfect for that. you ahve enough fashion savvy to help them and they would pay you big money to help them its fast money, cash undet thetable and a few clients. its secretive, and you keep provate about your clients and their identitites. its perfect. what do you thin abotu that>? seriously… think about this, i dont know why i didnt think of this sooner you could help them through personal shopping and maeup application…and help them get rid of the mannish mannerisms. youd be perfect to help someone like that….and someone seeking your services would refer you to others they know…youd be set with cash with this job,…. SAY SOMETHING!
5 minutes
me: grrrr internet sucks
MommaMeA1: what???
me: my internet shut me off sorry
MommaMeA1: did you read what i wrote about transgenders?
me: of course i did.
MommaMeA1: and what do you think?
me: ummm….well…creative thinking Mom. Good idea? Not so much.
not sure if there is a market really i mean the reason most change sex is bc they already ARE acting like a girl also not the easiest start up job. how do i specialize in this? Because I have been a girl for 28 years?! And (just curious to hear your answer at this point) how do you suggest i start this “job” up?
MommaMeA1: no no no. these people are in DIRE help of getting them to move in a better feminine way. if you watched the docuemntary, youd see the true need for something like this. i am not in a good location for this, but you are in the perfect place. and there is NOTHING big to start up a busniness for this… go to a few transgender doctors offices and give them your pitch and a febusiness cards and they can refer you to their patients.
me: sure ok i will.
THANK YOU! xoxo…..
(ISN’T SHE ADORABLE?????????)
A video i shot back in the 1950’s. Parody-ing a movie from the future. In our current past.
